Friday, June 25, 2010
let's have sex with dudes on craigslist.
8 this is what partying with sam looks like. all titties. my party is tomorrow, and i hope like hell you are coming. let's be serious. i didn't call the bar ahead of time to set shit up or reserve tables or whatever, we're just going to roll in and take over. here's what i know: a bunch of my burning hot snatches are coming; some of my platonic twig and berries will be there; my sexy internet stalker is coming (with binoculars around his neck, i think); we will be DRUNK; laura is wearing stilettos even though she is already nine feet tall; i have this fancy new bra that pushes my boobs up and together and i have a shirt that makes that bra really shine; there's a chance a table might get broken because rog will be there; i'm going to pay a tiny asian to rip the hair out of my face later in anticipation; there might be some glitter eyeshadow cream involved; lesbians aplenty; japanese gym shoes; and all this celibacy is fucking with my discretion, so you might get to see my butthole. EXCITING. saturday june 26, 10pm (i'm always late!), easy bar, 1944 w. division, chicago. i'll see you there!
and if i don't, i hope you get locked in a shed after suffering multiple unwanted entries. JERK.