goddamn, this is a lot of posts this week. one of my biggest fears in life is being ANNOYING, because i hate people who are annoying so much it hurts my stomach. so my big head is in the comedy section of this week's time out chicago, and while i have a subscription to time out, um i guess i never have really looked at this page until today. because i'm in it. yes, i'm an asshole. okay, so if you 1 live in chicago and 2 aren't busy banging someone awesome or committing petty larceny or whatever, you should please and thank you come to one of my upcoming shows. first up, i'm reading at the sunday night sex show, which is where i got my start. it's the three-year anniversary, and the lineup includes snss powerhouses: robyn pennacchia! allen makere! rachel collins! amanda glasbrenner! maggie ednie! and THIS BITCH RIGHT HERE. it's this sunday, july 31. 730 pm at the burlington, 3425 w. fullerton ave, chicago. you really have no excuse, people. it starts early and is free to get in, plus the drinks are cheap and most of the chicks who show up are sluts. so your odds of getting laid are INCREDIBLY HIGH. (some of that might not be true.) allen and robyn host, and it's a pretty good goddamned time: trivia, sexy questions, and hot readings by chicago literary greats. including me. if you've never seen me read before you totally should. i'm awesome. plus there's a dance party afterward, but i usually skip that and go get tacos. because, well, tacos > dancing.
but i TOTALLY UNDERSTAND if sunday's a bad night for you. you worked all week, you went out and got hammered saturday night, work up at five sunday evening, scrambled to get a load of laundry done and wash a few dishes, and then before you could snap your fingers it was monday and you were back at that job you fucking hate, waiting for the HR bitch to take her lean cuisine out of the microwave so you could reheat the bland dinner your boyfriend made last night. but don't worry, sister, all is not lost! because i'm reading at funny ha-ha on tuesday night, and you get another opportunity to come out and watch me SWEAT IN PUBLIC. tuesday august 2 at 7pm, hosted by my good pal claire zulkey at the hideout, 1354 w. wabansia av, chicago. featuring all of the people on this poster, who are all hilarious and outstanding human beings. it's five bucks, which is almost the same as free. especially if you've ever bought concert tickets or gone to the movies ever before in your life. i'm going to read something childish and idiotic, of course, and then you can go get some tacos and whiskey shots with me and tuesday or whatever. unless you're sick of tacos already. OR you can leave without speaking to me at all, but i'll have you know that i'm quite friendly and will be super nice to you. so if you come, say hello. my friends are all like kittens. they'll lick your face and shit. come talk to us. PARTYTIME.okay. i promise to get back to my regular schedule of watching television, reading magazines, and lazy posting so you don't get sick of me.
happy weekend!
happy weekend!
